Doodad Kind of Town

Food is Not the Enemy – I AM!!!
May 25, 2007, 1:58 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

“What are you rebelling against?”
“What have you got?”

— from “The Wild One”

I’m tired of dieting. I’ve been doing it off and on since I was fourteen -for the record, that’s 33 years of sporadic weight loss attempts. I’m on Week Four of Jenny Craig, down a little over 7 pounds, and frankly, I feel rebellious tonight.

When I left work I was HUNGRY!!!! And no little Cashew Chicken entree and serving of vegetables was going to satisfy. I called a girlfriend, and we met at a new Italian joint in my neighborhood for dinner. And yeah, they HAD a salad with grilled chicken breast and lowfat dressing on the menu. But, please. Who wants to eat THAT everytime they go out? I was feeling feisty, so I ordered up the Italian beef sandwich with fries. Just wasn’t in the mood for pasta or pizza. I could have done worse. Oh, and I forgot to mention – I picked up a bag of Doritos on the way home from work, and ate a few handfuls of those, too, before I even got to dinner. Maybe more than a few.

Remember that old Marlon Brando movie, “The Wild One”? Today, I feel like the Wild Dieter. I imagine myself wearing a black leather jacket with chains, riding a big Harley right into the Jenny Craig center where I defiantly eat an entire bag of Krispy Kreme donuts in front of my cowering “Jenny” consultant. I imagine my gang of fellow diet rebels following me right in on their own bikes and terrorizing the staff by breaking into the room where the Jenny food is stored and replacing the low-fat dressings and frozen entrees with cans of Crisco and generous tubs of Hagen Daz.

And frankly, any one who tries to placate me with a Jenny Double Chocolate Cake and some fat-free whipped topping is gonna get her ass kicked. I may be a glutton, but I DID go to Killer Pilates class this week!

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